I keep on imagining how hard I am going to die inside if I’ll see you there with someone. I keep on imagining the amount of weight I am going to keep inside, the amount of sadness my playlist will give me, and the numerous long nights I have to spend alone.
It’s true, I’m not worthy to have you.
Sometimes, i can only imagine how it is being with you. Sometimes, I can only imagine the thousand feelings I could’ve feel. And sometimes, I try to think of reasons why it can’t be. I try to play it in my head and not be hurt.
Maybe it’s true, things don’t happen the way we want them to be. When I open my eyes, I tell myself I need to stop, but how am I going to stop if my mind won’t shut?
It’s tearing me apart. I can’t avoid to think of the truth that I am crying over you but you don’t even know I exist, that I’m saying I’m here but you won’t hear.
I’ve been lying to myself. And Even if I try a thousand times; I can never play it in my head without being hurt.