Wrenched Letters


When you came, I thought you’ll be just another little heartbreak I’m going to feel like what I had before, when I was younger. I was too wrong to think of that, cause you’re a disaster and I fell on your deep brown eyes. Deeper. I can’t run, away from the tragedy I started.

Every night is a storm for me, crying till I get nothing and empty. With uncountable thoughts of you, I drown and I would wish I can breathe through. Each day I wake up, I know I’m a mess. I can always tell myself that I should hold on more, and I do even if it’s certain that I’m chained with someone I can’t have- a moon I can see but impossible to reach- You.

Nobody knows how this will stop, or as if it will stop- not me, no doubt not you.
This battle is real and I think, I’ll be defeated once again. You’re not for me, I shouldn’t say I’m yours. It’s just a sudden switch of fate- we’re two unlike stars collided not to see each other, romantic yet hopeless.

Maybe in other place, we’re not, I’m not filled with dying hopes, of missing chances, and false words.
Maybe in other world, I have you.
Maybe in other time, we’re creatures created for each other.

Will that gonna happen?
Should I still hold on? Until when?
Only if this tangled fate changes.


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Tuesday Broken Rain


Wake up today.
There’s no sunshine outside.
You know that rain is unstoppable-
You know that you’re still in pain,
Tearing and drifting away into uncountable pieces.

Forget about the devastated wall,
The wrecked bricks.
Stop your pale imagery.
Take it all today.
You’ll be off to greater happiness, someday.


Wanderer’s Vestige


Freed yourself –
Break the chain –
Cut the strings,
Travel places.
Chase your moon now,
Be guided by stars.

I will fall now –
Lone and shattering.
My walls are waiting to crush my bones,
Abiding clouds above again.
Let the storm come,
I will watch myself bleed helplessly.

Run away,
Farther and away.
Walk away,
More steps and away.
I’m letting you go now –
So my dying heart must be.


Collision of Stars


Two astray stars met,
Vast space of sky was occupied.
Burst out into million pieces –
Shattered and indentations left behind.

Chance was gone missing.
Faults –
False hopes appeared.
Darkness –
Solace in hearts disappeared.


Bittersweet Cup


Take a sip from your half-filled cup of coffee.
Open new chapters –
Leave everything behind.
And if you’ll do it tonight,
You can do it tomorrow.

Break your worries now,
Of pain which keeps you locked.
Life is not meant to be perfect nor to be always sweet,
There’s a blend of bitterness in it.

This time around, breathe.
Choose your own happiness,
And for him, at least, do the same thing –
Let go.


T. Space Diary | Not a Wrap-Up Post


* T. Space will be my new blog post category – My life updates and Experience sharing

Peeps! How was the holidays?

Let’s say that my last blog post was on December 15, 2018 and I was gone for so long. I never knew I should have such long hiatus. Okay, until now it seems like my writings are still hanged-up on my note and I’m giving no chance to post at least one of them, you know?
It seems like my blog is slowly turning into #myLife blog but no, I will start posting writings again soon since there are some new poems I made which are all super personal.

Honestly, I never really enjoyed my holiday break. As usual, there are still paper works to do for school, the research from chapters 1-3 and the book review ( by the way, I finished reading All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven 😭 )
I was sleeping late every night, ’cause I made our Research paper alone since I can’t give my groupmates individual tasks, you know? That could ruin the whole thing up and I’m just super demanding when it comes to things like that. I was there on Google for countless days, opening websites related with our topic, downloading files, reading articles, and reviewing related studies. I and my groupmates used the topic which is Public speaking since I love public speaking. I sound selfish, don’t I? 😂
At least, I’m done doing that and I’m just trying to finish my book review now. If you guys will ask what time do I wake-up, it’s 9:00 AM.

I’m not against Christmas but I’m super sad how a special day seems like fading away. I never really felt it, and when I woke up on December 25th, it’s like I woke Up in a normal day. To tell it, we’re not the type of family whose too demanding when it comes in preparing holiday foods and just a fact, I prefer money than material gifts. 😂
It’s one of my things that I make Christmas Tree when the season is near but I failed to make it this year ’cause of too much busyness with school works so that also deducted the Christmas spirit.
We also don’t eat at Christmas Eve, usually we celebrate on the exact day so at 12:00 AM, December 24th, I think I was still awake that time while doing my tasks.
I didn’t received anything, not any gift, not any amount of money, there was really nothing but I heard mom will give me some amount this New year’s and I will use that for another book, I’ll be going on the city and be checking the bookstore. Oh! I can’t believe we’re near 2019 ! Time’s really fleeting fast. I-want-some-Jollibee-before-the-year-ends.

Yep! As I’ve said, I’m done reading the book All the Bright Places and It was super personal for the author, written beautifully, very sad and tragic. You guys know what? I was crying the whole time I was reading the last chapters. I don’t want any incident to happen to me and to my life. I highly recommend it to y’all peeps, you all will probably also cry. Don’t forget, the writer was Jennifer Niven.
Ahhhhh! Since I’m done reading my very first book, I’m now ready to buy something new again, I decided that It will be “ Eleanor and Park ” by Rainbow Rowell,

-also one of the New York Times Best Selling Book same to the first one I bought.

Hmmm. I still need a lot of money, I still have a lot on my list, my next three books are :

The Fault in our Stars – John Green

Fangirl – Rainbow Rowell (also)

Holding up the Universe – Jennifer Niven (also)

Since it will be 2019 yet, means that holiday vacation will be over, stresses and frustrations will be back again. There are still three months left before this school year end and inside this upcoming January will be hustle again, it contains the 3rd Quarter examination, plus submission of projects, plus DEFENSE.
I should be ready especially for that defense thing, because if we fail to convince the panels to approve our research paper, we need to repeat and I don’t know how desperate I will be.

The Goals :

  • Pass the Defense
  • New graphics and Blog Design
  • Buy One book ( Eleanor and Park)
  • Pass all the Subjects
  • Read Dictionary Again for Vocabulary
  • Study Italian Language
  • Save money. Yep! I started, just in case

So that’s it! I’m glad I’m finally back. I can finally breath from the long hiatus I took…

U-N-E-X-P-E-C-T-E-D-L-Y.

How are you guys doin’? Are you enjoying your holiday break? You think T. Space Diaries will be cool? Missed me? XD. Drop down your lovely comments below and let’s talk ’cause I missed y’all so much!

Just a reminder, This is not a wrap up post. 😂

Argggh! I dropped my phone, I hope it won’t be damaged. P. S. I don’t have allowance for replacement.

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Something Strange Happening in Me


The other day, I was back online and I promised myself to post writing on my blog because I said before my hiatus, that will be the thing I’m going to do once I’m back but I first procrastinate everything and leave them for the following day.
But last night, when I was too tired after the party from school, I decided to read some chapters from the book I availed. I felt like my eyes isn’t working properly and I need to take sleep for at least half an hour and so I did. When I woke up, I heard Momma telling us to eat dinner so as she said, I prepared my food and so my cup of coffee. After I ate, I went to my bed like what I always do, and when I already set myself to start deciding what to post on my blog, I felt something in me that I couldn’t understand. There’s something that keeps my from telling myself that my words are too lame and stupid, I can feel it. I mean, I already have the writings on my note but I can’t just type and post any of them, there’s something in me that needs to be filled. I know I can’t write right now and even if I want to start another writer’s block, I also can’t. I don’t want this thing in me to affect any other things I do.

I first hang on Twitter and burst Everything out, I rant, said a lot of shits, and I was just really emotional. In spite of the truth, I could talk and interact to people especially my commentators from this page but I feel like I’m a bit fake when I was doing that. I was happy online but in reality, I’m not. Really not.

I’m anxious, I’m experiencing clouds of different emotions. The heartbreak, the feeling like I can’t trust anyone even my closest friends, and the fact that I can’t suddenly do the things I believe I’m good at. As of now, I decided to add more sleep, that means I need to sleep early Especially that this holiday break won’t be an actual break ’cause there’s this research paper plus book review I need to accomplish seriously.
I just need to rest and break for a while, I guess. Like what I always tell others when they are in the same state as mine. I’m just tired- physically and emotionally.

I already had Breakdown before and it’s a thing that might happen or might not happen.
But this time around, I won’t let it happen anymore. Sorry to tell and to fail y’all guys. I need time, I’m going to fix myself as soon as possible and this will not endure.


Availed my very First Book


It turned out that our Reading and Writing subject teacher gave us paper work namely “Book Review” and despite of the fact that I’m not bookish, I was excited when I heard what she said. I was having no idea what will be the book I’m going to read so I posted something on Twitter about it. Mary (my sis) replied to it and asked me what type of story do I want and I said that it’s heartbreak, she suggested that “All the Bright Places” written by Jennifer Niven is pretty good that it made her crying. I asked where can I buy such book, then she said that I can check it at goodreads.

-receipt

I checked Goodreads application searching the book and I knew that it’s a NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER 😍.
I clicked it but it don’t open so in partnership with Kindle application, I tried to open it once more but what showed is just the sample. Then I said to myself, okay I need to search for it on the bookstore and avail, reading online is hustle anyway.

For my purpose, which is to make my project, I went there together with my classmate and friend as well. When I enter the store, I saw top-selling books Displayed in front like To All the Boys I loved Before, P. S. I still love you, Fangirl, Fault in our stars, and many more. I know they are written by known Writers like Jenny Han and Lang Leav, I just forgot the others.
My Target is the book I’m telling y’all about, “All the Bright Places”, so when I wasn’t able to see the book, I asked my classmate to help me search for it, I let her take a look at the cover of it and she suggested that maybe the book is on the second floor and so we got ourselves in there, I saw The book entitled “The Beginning of Everything”, I know it’s good. She suddenly found what we are looking for and to my surprise, yep! She found it!The price is harsh. It is worth 465 pesos and $10.99 if in US dollars. At least, it contain a good story I’ll probably enjoy along reading.

I was standing on the counter when I realized that I want to avail more, buy those best-selling narratives. I am now in regret for not saving money but I’m sure I’ll start to save now, go over the city book store and be back for them.
After this school year, I’ll be a bookworm. Here’s my top list of amazing Titles together with their astonishing content :

• To all The boys I loved before ( I know that I can just watch it but I won’t, I still want it)

• P.s. I still love you

• The fault in our stars

• The beginning of everything

• Fangirl
• Holding up the universe

• Eleanor and Park

This is the start of something good and new.
Start new adventures by the pages and keep a lot of them. I’m starting to be bookish and love em all.

“ The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places. ”

-Ernest Hemingway

Now, I will be on a hiatus again for a while to finish reading what I got for my new LIBRARY. I need to focus on our chapter 1 of research and for the title defense as well this upcoming January anyway.

Sorry people, my writings are still off to be posted here in my blog. At this moment, they are still kept in my note but I promise that I’ll be posting more writings again once I’m back. Bye y’all!

Have you already read “All the Bright Places” by Jennifer Niven? What are your thoughts about it? Do you also know the books that are on my top list? Drop all your comments down below and let’s talk!

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Afternoon Captures | Photography + Camera Tricks


I don’t know what’s happening to me but lately, I just decided to be back on Photography. I once did this on my first blog and I created a section on menu for it but now, if I’m about to take pictures I’ll then probably going to make a post for it rather than keeping them on a one corner.

I found myself awake on a one afternoon and to my surprise, I didn’t take that afternoon to sleep and rest. Usually, when I have free time I grab it for bed but I didn’t. I was there staring at the back of our house, I really do that when I’m bored and I don’t know why. Nature puts me in calm so maybe that’s my reason, I mean, it’s just relaxing and I find peace together with green.

I saw subjects so without any hesitation, I quickly grabbed my phone. Yes guys, the photos I’ll drop here are only taken by my phone because I don’t have professional camera for photography.
I had Daisy and Roses and ahhhh, I just can’t get enough of them. I took 3 shots for Daisy and One shot for this bunch of Roses which I think is perfect.

– When I capture flowers, I don’t really put them in the middle of the camera. It’s not important for me if they’re on the angle or on the side ’cause I keep on maintaining the focus on it. Sometimes, we don’t really need to put everything at the common place, sometimes we should try new things and see if it’s better.

I know, I shouldn’t miss capturing sky. I love the clouds, maybe I took this at 3:00 PM.

– For Capturing clouds or sky to be specific, better if we will add some touch of leaves or trees because it will add Beauty to the whole photo and it will contrast the light.

– Blurred is also gorgeous. Sometimes.

The Vines. Ha-ha. This is the grapes I planted from my Lola and don’t still bear fruit until now. I’m willing to wait.

– As we can see, the color is green all over and there could be a big chance that the subject won’t be seen but I put it on the center and I maximize the focus so it’s still good.

– I love this Grass!

In enhancing the colors of the pictures, I use VSCO application for additional edits. Most filters requires money but they also offer free simple but elegant effects so I’m still one of their users.

So peeps! I hope you enjoyed this post and I’d love to if you will tell me how you think about it. Please let me know if I should do this again. And I will do this again.

Fell in love with the shots? Which is your Top one? Learned something about photography? Drop your comment down below and let’s talk about that.

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