To Jackson

You don’t know that I’m starting to write a lot about you, during late nights, at the back of my notes, through my weary pen.

When you came in, I never thought who you would be in me, until I started to see you in my mind, before I close my eyes and when I open them. I learned how to count the beautiful things, and it’s a real different feeling, you’re a different feeling I could wish would not stop.

I think I can’t be happier than this, as if mind is a merry-go-round spinning with thousand thoughts of you, as if my heart is a tantrum of voices wanting to speak what we can be.

I am certainly aware and terrified of the fact that sometimes I’m afraid with the idae of falling on love. I am the type of person who would choose to fence my heart if I could, who would rather hold tight of my own world.

Sometimes when I write, I don’t know how to give final words because I’m afraid about endings, it can be misery. I’m afraid that maybe one day, I wake up and I know that you’re happy with someone else, and I’ll be watching myself helplessly die. But I think, it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m not counting my wounds or my scars anymore. You taught me how to look at the whole universe to seek for possibilities and be a little something new.

Maybe heart’s fences shattered will never be real, we only make them for ourselves. It’s treacherous to fall in love and it’s more treacherous to always run away and try not to jump on it.

I will never stop falling in love with you, Jackson. I will never stop chasing hope.


July Updates

You guys probably know that i just entered my 12th grade in high school this year and it’s making me super busy in the moment, to the extent that I can’t anymore manage my social media accounts. Even this blog. And I am struggling to find posting schedule.

Currently, I’m in the process of doing numerous school stuffs and that is making my blog less active. 😦

So I then decided to make it easier for me. I’ll publish whenever I want and whenever I can. I’ll also not be making any ‘reposting things’ anymore.

Honestly, I do repost my blog posts because my engagement isn’t as high as what I got from my first blog so this website is a bit flop that it couldn’t be as successive as my first one. The repost thing is also a hustle activity and it adds up on my schedule so I better get rid of it and be contented of what I get. After all, likes and followers are just numbers and we better focus with the posts we make.

And aside from the fact that I’m now having lesser engagement, I also am not anymore able to read other people’s post and I can only blame myself for that. I feel sorry I can’t give back the appreciation I get from other bloggers. But guys, with or without me, your content are amazing. Note that. *winks*.

By the way, those days that I’m not around the blogosphere, I was also busy making writings. So sooner or later, I’ll start posting them here- again. I missed you all.

[i am making this simple. Ha-ha. forget the graphics for a while.]

°°° leave me any comments, please. I want to talk to y’all πŸ™‚

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Verses for Paul

You gave me Sunflowers when my Roses are dying.

You showed me the whole universe when one of the Stars exploded.

You colored my pale walls.

You showed me the world.

You brought me to life.

And all that, I flew away from loss.

I chased the shade of happiness.

June Lovers

I kind of like to think,
About every hope which shrink.
Wishing on four leaves of clover,
Are we just star-crossed lovers?

Sometimes when I wake up,
Gloomy days don’t want to stop.
Daylight hide not to meet me,
I think I’m blind to see.

When I look at the stars it’s you,
No chance you stare at them too.
Wishing you also knew,
Words I said only a few.

I’m alone and terrified,
For the melancholy to abide.
The doors I opened close again,
Lock itself to keep the pain.

Wrecking how it feels,
Seeing you happy with someone else.
When I open an eye,
I helplessly watch my heart die.

Vacation is Over *aka* School Year Starts

Hello lovely people!

I am writing this because I want to let you all know I just started my 12th year in High School that means it’s my last and I really reaallly have to put just extra efforts ’cause I’m a graduating student, I need to make it to the top.

As of now, I can’t promise that I’ll be so active with the blog. Maybe, my posting schedule won’t be regular and consistent. But I’m sure tho that I’ll be still posting, it’s a promise I gave to myself that I won’t be shutting my website down for long time so even if my schedule being active won’t be regular, I’m still a hoarder. There’s nothing to worry about.
But there’s just this thing bothering me, I know that I have these nominations from other bloggers and it makes me sad that maybe I won’t be able to make posts for those awards. I’m sorry to fail you guys but I hope y’all understand πŸ˜”πŸ’”

So yes, it means that I’m welcoming myself into a busier life! πŸ˜› I wish this school year won’t be too difficult for me!

So recently, I just made myself more organised. Just so you guys know I bought two bullet journals, and I’m using the smaller one for personal things and the bigger one as my planner. Planner will help me get track of the things I have to make for my goals. Honestly, I’ve been using my phone for my to-dos but it’s something I don’t recommend. Lol because duhh, phones might break and die anytime, right? Right.

And also I got three new books πŸ“š :

πŸ“– Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon – I love this novel soooo much. I don’t want to spoil it tho, even if I already did on Twitter πŸ˜‚

This is just really cute, and if you want a book which can give you excitement in every page, I recommend it to you all 😍 For me, It’s better than Nicola’s new novel β€œ The sun is also a star ” . Well that’s just my opinion. Ha-ha.

The other two books I got :

πŸ“– Shiny Broken Pieces -a collab book (and my current read)

πŸ“– Attachments by Rainbow Rowell

So it’s just all that right now. I hope you guys are having great moments. Take care of yourselves especially your mental health. πŸ˜™πŸŒΊ

P. S. You can always reach me out on my Social media accounts (Instagram is advisable πŸ˜‚)

* First photos of the Year *

What grade are you in? Do you also use planners? What’s your current read?

Drop down your comments on the section and we’ll talk once I’m back! 🍦🍦🍦

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Multiverse Consequence

I use to
That we are
made for each other.
I use to
tell myself
that we are together
in other universe,
That we are not emptily alone
in other constellation.

No matter
how long I wait,
other universe won’t exist.
I only created
an imaginary place
for the two of us-
The wonderland of my insane mind.
I maybe am
under the shattered sky,
together with dying stars, with false hopes.

There’s only one
vague and twisted world.
Place where there’s no
You and I.
Broken paradise
is where we stand.
No meant-to-be,
No fate,
No eternity.
Ending is where it leads.

T. Space Diary | Updates ’bout Boring Vacation

Hey! What are y’all up to, boys and girls?
This vacation seems to be real boring. I’m currently stuck in my room for month now and I’m sure I’ll be stuck until classes start again. However, it’s still weeks before that happens so yes, the boredom and real tedious moments continues. πŸ˜‚
I’m honestly struggling to be active on the blog right now, My internet connectivity is only limited because we don’t have wifi so most of the time, I’m on Instagram (follow me there & @thonysthetical) but instagram is real fun. I hated the algorithm of it before, but when I decided to grow it with purpose, I found myself enjoying it- uploading photos, talking to more people, and advertising my blog posts. πŸ™‚

I have no numerous summer experience, am I just an indoor creature or what? πŸ˜† but I’m going to tell that I’m super happy with what I’m getting lately. Most are positive and there’s only one which is negative which is somehow also resolvable. πŸ˜„

πŸ“Œ Socials / Instagram / Feedgoals

– As I’ve said I’m now enjoying Instagram. 😍 I’m happy that my followers grew real quick and is still growing until now, I also receive comments ’bout my photos, meeting new friends, getting engagement on my blog, and lovely remarks about it. I mentioned it before that I hate my feed but now, it’s okay. I already found contentment. πŸ™‚

πŸ“Œ Faces of feminism

– This is the real best thing which happened to me as I’m enjoying my online life. As I was on Instagram, a page called faces of feminism messaged me, encouraged me to be featured on their instagram feed and website which I totally accepted and wholeheartedly participated in. I made paragraph where I share my views about feminism, gender inequality, society, and why to promote women empowerment. It’s was just Super amazing. 😍
If you want, you can check out their website or follow them on instagram @facesofeminism. You can also direct message them if you want to be featured and be a feminist. Support women, NOW!

πŸ“Œ New YouTube Channel

– To be a known blogger and writer is my dream, and also to be a Youtuber. That is why I created new channel. πŸ’ž
Right now, I don’t have laptop for video editing and also camcorder. I only created the channel to grow my subscribers in advance, so at least once I already upload something, I already have my Viewers. Check it out @Thony Aesthetically.

πŸ“Œ Over 500 blog followers

-Wow. Wow. Wow. This is what I love the most. I reached over 500 followers. 😍🎊🎊
For months of working, I finally retrieved what I lost before. I’m really grateful to all of you guys, like really. I’m super thankful to the support you give to my posts which makes me more motivated to create content. 🌐

πŸ“Œ More writings

– I’m glad that this vacation I am really focused. Really focused that I’m able to make more writings. Usually, I struggle creating block, my writer’s mind is really like seasonal so I’m just amazed that in this moment I’m productive.

πŸ“Œ New music / Playlist

-if you haven’t heard, I’ll announce it. 🎀 (No, not that I’m going to sing because of that microphone emoji πŸ˜‚) .
Taylor Swift released New single called β€œME!” and you literally have to check it out if you haven’t. I’m glad she’s back, I hope the whole album will be released soon.

😢 And here’s the negative :

πŸ“Œ Out of TBR

– I only bought three books before vacation and now I’m finished reading ’em all. 😦 I had fun, really that I want to reread them but not like right now.
Since it’s school break and I’m getting no cash lol, I’m also not able to save money that means I can’t buy anything new for my TBR and now I’m running out. Really πŸ˜”.

Anyways, Summer used to be enjoyed but it’s frustrating me πŸ˜‚ not that I hate the season but the heat is too much. Oh, I’m envious with people living in not so tropical countries. I want to experience the weather they have. But I’m pretty sure you guys are enjoying the vacation, linger it :).

I hope you liked this post, I’m glad I’m able to share some updates again. If you love this T. Space, give some love, like and comment. Byeeee. πŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™

Do you love instagram too? What season do you love the most? What country are you in? Love this post?

Tell me your thoughts and let’s talk on the comment section! 😁

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8 Things I Learned About Writing | Writer’s Perspective

Writing has been one of my passions since I started making pieces for my blog. Through the process I’ve gone through, I learned some things about it that are just really valuable for me, and I also use as I continue. I can’t anymore remember the time I started crafting poems and prose neither how long I’ve been doing it – months or year? I can’t take a guess.

Let’s call that I’m just an aspirant. But to myself I know that I’m a writer and anyone can call themselves a writer as long as they express. Tho self-made, I’m still happy to share my perspectives with y’all, people.

Things I Learned Through :

βœ’ Writing is a repetitive Process.

-Writing is a repetitive process, creating pieces is a repetitive process. It always needs your mind, your heart, your pen and paper, especially you and your passion. Your love for what you do matters the most.

βœ’ There is no such thing as in β€œBEST PIECE”.
– You start good at it, and you find yourself better afterwards. As you write, you learn new things- you get better, your words get better, the only satisfaction is within you. You can never call any work as β€œ Best Piece ” because as you write, you only create better writing, but not best writing.

βœ’ Creating block takes time.
-Seeking for inspiration and idea is always important but it doesn’t mean that you should be forcing your mind. Creating block takes time, and sometimes they just come up. Making pieces doesn’t need to be hasty.

βœ’ You don’t need to always-write.
-You don’t need to always write everyday, unless it’s your thing. But when you know and you feel like you can’t write, don’t write but instead, refresh your mind – Trust me, you’ll get lame work after. The things you love shouldn’t be compulsory.

βœ’ To write is to be inspired.
– When you write, you should always be inpired when you do it. That is why, if it’s not your want, don’t do it.

Always find motivation why you want to make it, so you can also inspire other people to be a writer.

βœ’ Vocabulary size doesn’t matter.

– You don’t need a mind full of words, for as long as your heart is into writing and you’re filled with ideas and inspiration, you’ll still be able to express what you want. Use of words also means valuing the readers. Here’s this question to think of: * what if your words are beautiful but your readers can’t anymore relate because they don’t understand it?

That’s it.

βœ’ Who you write is you.

– You only pen yourself down. Your works can reflect you as a person, or even the way you think, the way you view things. Your emotions are your words. What you write is your mind, but most of all your heart. Your pieces can be the mask covering your face, or the words written on your skin.

βœ’ Appreciate your works.

-You don’t need compliment from other people to continue what you’re doing, all you need is an optimistic mind towards your output. When you give appreciation to your accomplishments, you can say that you’re a good writer yet. This also avoids negativity. As I’ve said, the only satisfaction is within you. It’s the best way to be more effective.

That’s it y’all people. If you’re an aspiring writer too, the only thing I can tell you is to keep on writing and grind always. Never be discouraged and always reward yourself for all of the accomplishments you make. You are a good writer and you deserve appreciation. 😽😽

You also make poems and prose? For how long now? What are the things you learned through the process?

Drop down all your lovely thoughts and let’s talk on the comment section! πŸŒΊπŸ˜™

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Star-crossed Unrequited

And if I lock you in my heart,

You would not want to stay.

Search for the escape- Hide yourself,

Leave me astray.

I’ll watch you walk away from me,

I’ll watch you homebound.

I hear nothing but my countless footsteps.

I see nothing but the loneliness of the place where it ends.

We’re two empty hearts wanting to be found.