Appreciation & Realisation


June 18th was so Happy!
Because it was my day. But honestly, growing up I never saw birthday as something special. I’d just wake up, and my mom would greet me, singing happy birthday of course. And I just have this gratefulness within me. And it’s just a normal day.
I’m not a dramatic person I swear, but I’m the kind of person who tries to appreciate everything as much as I can.

I had this fear of growing up, of becoming older because I think I want to be an overachiever kind of person. That’s why I keep of working on everything that I can at the moment.
I was anxious because being 18 means getting a lot of responsibilities, it means going to college, it’s the phase of saying goodbye being a teenager.

I want to accomplish great things, but as of now, I’m just a typical person who can stay on his own room.
My family trained me to always pray whenever it’s my birthday. I never got the point of celebrating it because it only means growing older. But now I know, it’s a chance given by God. To live another year and fulfill your heart with so much happiness. To achieve things that you want. To be with the people you love. And accomplish an uncertain purpose.

And so I prayed, and I am truly grateful.
I think it’s time that I just leave it all to God. I said to him I’ll just do what I can, and work on things I think I need to work on. If I get great outcomes, then I’d be on my greatest feeling of gratitude. And if I won’t, I know that something extraordinary has to come.

So I guess, I’ll just stay. Whatever happens, I should be here. Staying with people who believe in me. Living through the Guidance of God. Fulfilling my heart, and chasing what life has to offer.

You can expect me to be the same person, staying on social media for good, posting on my blog, campaigning my advocacies.
And as long as you want me to be with you, I’ll stick around with you. I hope that you’ll do the same.

I’d also like to say thank you to everyone who made me special on my 18th.
Those who messaged me, posted on their instagram story, commented on my post as they greeted me.
To my loving family members, my blog frennies who gave me ease and relief about growing up and gave me the advice that I needed.

Thank you so much!
You guys are my rays of sunshine.

I got a lot of Realisations, and it was the most heartwarming day! I guarantee.

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18 and the Anxiety of growing up.


I’ll be 18 in just days !
* play Ribs by Lorde *

This is supposed to be a birthday wishlist blog post, but I just thought that I have a lot of things included in my list. So I’d just write something different.

You might be thinking that I just made this blog post today, but it’s not. I wrote it a little earlier, as soon as I got the idea. Ahaha.

When I was a kid, I was honestly not frightened about growing up, I wasn’t desperate to grow up either.
But now that I’m here, and time seems fleeting, I just realized that being grown-up means getting a lot of responsibilities. Especially, the responsibilities that you have to take for yourself.
I am kinda ambitious, and one of my greatest fears is to end up nothing in life.

Chasing life, I found new things that I loved and still love : art, writing, advocating. And even some things I can’t mention in here.

Last year, I just started writing my first novel, and it’s something that I always talk about. I’m still working on it, because I promised that I won’t give up on it.
But there’s this little fear inside me that I may not finish what I’ve started. Or what if no agent would believe and hold on to my ideas. What if publishing companies would not like the storyline?
There’s a lot of questions I can form in my head honestly.

Being 18, means starting college too. But the question is: do I yet know where school to go? No.
Am I already decided with the course I wanna take? No.
And this blog!
With that facts alone, you can already tell how anxious I possibly am.
How worried I am with my future.

I am the kind of person who’s working according to the plans. But if I’ll tell you, my plans aren’t made yet.

But on the bright side of life, I’m still looking for whatever thing it is that I can do for my life. At the end, I don’t know the path in front of me, so I just have to keep going.
Even if there are questions, worries, fears, demotivating moments. Whatever it is.

° ° ° ° ° °

But again, I have created a newsletter which I’m hoping to be successful.

I got 2 new subscribers when I linked it on my last blog. I’m thankful for them.

I’d also be so so happy if you will add your emails too. If you’re not yet subscribed, here’s the link :

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