Appreciation & Realisation

June 18th was so Happy!
Because it was my day. But honestly, growing up I never saw birthday as something special. I’d just wake up, and my mom would greet me, singing happy birthday of course. And I just have this gratefulness within me. And it’s just a normal day.
I’m not a dramatic person I swear, but I’m the kind of person who tries to appreciate everything as much as I can.

I had this fear of growing up, of becoming older because I think I want to be an overachiever kind of person. That’s why I keep of working on everything that I can at the moment.
I was anxious because being 18 means getting a lot of responsibilities, it means going to college, it’s the phase of saying goodbye being a teenager.

I want to accomplish great things, but as of now, I’m just a typical person who can stay on his own room.
My family trained me to always pray whenever it’s my birthday. I never got the point of celebrating it because it only means growing older. But now I know, it’s a chance given by God. To live another year and fulfill your heart with so much happiness. To achieve things that you want. To be with the people you love. And accomplish an uncertain purpose.

And so I prayed, and I am truly grateful.
I think it’s time that I just leave it all to God. I said to him I’ll just do what I can, and work on things I think I need to work on. If I get great outcomes, then I’d be on my greatest feeling of gratitude. And if I won’t, I know that something extraordinary has to come.

So I guess, I’ll just stay. Whatever happens, I should be here. Staying with people who believe in me. Living through the Guidance of God. Fulfilling my heart, and chasing what life has to offer.

You can expect me to be the same person, staying on social media for good, posting on my blog, campaigning my advocacies.
And as long as you want me to be with you, I’ll stick around with you. I hope that you’ll do the same.

I’d also like to say thank you to everyone who made me special on my 18th.
Those who messaged me, posted on their instagram story, commented on my post as they greeted me.
To my loving family members, my blog frennies who gave me ease and relief about growing up and gave me the advice that I needed.

Thank you so much!
You guys are my rays of sunshine.

I got a lot of Realisations, and it was the most heartwarming day! I guarantee.

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18 and the Anxiety of growing up.

I’ll be 18 in just days !
* play Ribs by Lorde *

This is supposed to be a birthday wishlist blog post, but I just thought that I have a lot of things included in my list. So I’d just write something different.

You might be thinking that I just made this blog post today, but it’s not. I wrote it a little earlier, as soon as I got the idea. Ahaha.

When I was a kid, I was honestly not frightened about growing up, I wasn’t desperate to grow up either.
But now that I’m here, and time seems fleeting, I just realized that being grown-up means getting a lot of responsibilities. Especially, the responsibilities that you have to take for yourself.
I am kinda ambitious, and one of my greatest fears is to end up nothing in life.

Chasing life, I found new things that I loved and still love : art, writing, advocating. And even some things I can’t mention in here.

Last year, I just started writing my first novel, and it’s something that I always talk about. I’m still working on it, because I promised that I won’t give up on it.
But there’s this little fear inside me that I may not finish what I’ve started. Or what if no agent would believe and hold on to my ideas. What if publishing companies would not like the storyline?
There’s a lot of questions I can form in my head honestly.

Being 18, means starting college too. But the question is: do I yet know where school to go? No.
Am I already decided with the course I wanna take? No.
And this blog!
With that facts alone, you can already tell how anxious I possibly am.
How worried I am with my future.

I am the kind of person who’s working according to the plans. But if I’ll tell you, my plans aren’t made yet.

But on the bright side of life, I’m still looking for whatever thing it is that I can do for my life. At the end, I don’t know the path in front of me, so I just have to keep going.
Even if there are questions, worries, fears, demotivating moments. Whatever it is.

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But again, I have created a newsletter which I’m hoping to be successful.

I got 2 new subscribers when I linked it on my last blog. I’m thankful for them.

I’d also be so so happy if you will add your emails too. If you’re not yet subscribed, here’s the link :

Bookish & Coffeeholic Newsletter

Why my Blog was so Quiet.

The last time that I posted a Blog was on May 27th. And I am going to tell you why I had to put myself on a hiatus, and show up just now.

The past weeks, social media has been so loud because of the movement you probably know about – The Black Lives Matter movement.
I decided to support that Movement first because c’mon! We need equality. Racism has to stop. And our Black Brothers and Sisters should also be able to live life the way they deserve.

I also became mentally drained, and I felt burned out because I used to stay late at night doing what I can possibly do to help.

Disclaimer : I’m not blaming the movement, It was and it is my initiative to help.

I know I knew what I should prioritize first, and that is to help those who are in need.
So I decided to temporarily stop my blogging game first. And be active on Twitter and Instagram, sign petitions, Send emails, share what I can possibly share. etcetera.

I, then, realize that if it was overwhelming and a little traumatic for me, then what about to those people experiencing racial injustice first hand?

I thought of an Instagram project I wish I can accomplish very soon.
And it’s the #theprojectloveletter.
Anyone can participate, and it’s aim is to make social media a good place for Our Black brothers and Sisters to heal.
If you wanna join, You can do the following :

1. Make a graphic (your letter of love to black people typed on a plain pink image)
2. Post on your feed and put under #theprojectloveletter
3. You can also share to your followers so more people can join.

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The fight isn’t still over. There are lots of things which must still be fixed.
If you wanna do something or do more to support the movement, you can check the link. Here :

BLM Resources

– That link contains resources like petitions to sign, emails to send, websites of where you can donate to, and more.

You are needed in this battle!

I also want to let y’all know that I finally launched my newsletter called “Bookish & Coffeeholic”. This thing is something I’m really excited about.
I’ll start sending messages once I get 20 Subscribers. So if you can sign to my newsletter, I’d be really grateful!
Here you can:

Bookish & Coffeeholic Newsletter

A Little Virtual Talk

I honestly feel so stuck up…

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Hey people! *Argh* I honestly do not know how to start. I know that this is so random of me to show up on the blog again from being so MIA. I mean, I can give an excuse, C’mon I’m a graduating student 😂 life has been so busy lately. On the bright side tho, I’m just weeks away before graduation. 🎊 (or if it will continue, Corona Virus is tryin’ to hit it hard by placing on critical condition)

Everything was a roller coaster ride again. I was so Manic but had one breakdown. However, I just wanna share and acknowledge what I felt but don’t wanna talk too much because I might get so negative again. I- don’t want negativity in my blog, just so you know.

I think, if there’s something I am most happy about, that is the fact that I’m getting my creativity back to artistic illustrations and painting again. Drawing on paper is something which I really loved when I was a kid, and I’m so happy I’m giving myself the chance to experience it again. Nobody’s asking but I already made four artworks already, and I have one WIP. I also added a menu section in my site where I’ll be posting and sharing ’em, it is called ‘my artworks’.
But I think, what’s making me sad is the fact that I feel so stuck up. Everything seems to be a Work in progress lately, especially for my novel. I wasn’t adding any chapter, and I still am not adding any. It’s just… sad. I’ll try to be productive this vacation (summer) in terms of creativity, and that’s a promise. Because I think, I see myself as the type of person who should always be doing something, I should be always working on something which makes me excited to feel truly alive.

And by the way, talking about novel, all the bright places- the first ever book which I read, and which is my fave, has finally a movie. And it’s only available on freaking Netflix. And I freaking can’t watch. So I’m sad again. 😭 the best alternative tho, is to just reread it. So I may reread anytime, because I want to get all the feels again.

Nobody asks but for me, 2020 is working well. And I hope it does the same with you. One more thing, as this year started, I became obsessed with Nail Polish 💅, and I might color my nails again after this. lol.

Alright! Let’s talk about blogging now. Over the months, I became more and more less interactive in the blogosphere, and that is one of the things which makes me sad bc I think I’m being so unfair (especially, to those who read my posts.) so I got an idea to probably start an awarding. Yep, you heard that right. I’ll create my own blogger award, and I’ll give it to those people whom I know are deserving. Exciting! Don’t you think?
And also, whenever I post, You can always comment something you want together with the link leading to your blog post you want me to read. I think, that will make everything easy for me to manage. And once you do so, I’ll sure make time to check that out and show some loveeee. ♡

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So that’s it, for my li’l talk. Just to make my site alive again, and to update y’all about – me – my life – behind the scenes. (?)

Another update which I almost forgot: tho I said that 2020’s becoming great, I already feel like giving up on my glow-up list. You know, it’s just exhausting, and I feel like it’s just an addition to my responsibilities. Ha-ha hilarious. Btw, I’m also planning to get my tan this summer ☀. Ahhhhhhhkk

What is up with your life right now? Everything’s going well? Is 2020 treating you great? Share that with me, I’ll listen, and let’s have some coffee virtually.

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T. Space Diary || August Struggles + Lover Album Faves

I just kind of realized that time is really fleeting….

I’ve always been this teen who share almost everything in my website so you can expect me to share some things again. Like, right now. 😂

Anyways, I can’t believe it will be September again sooo soon. I found myself awake in August and now I’m about to live in September all of sudden. Christmas is so near again. For the past weeks, I really felt bad about myself, about my life – as if nothing’s new anymore. Do you guys get it when you feel so bored by everything? When the things you used to love doing doesn’t excite you anymore? Because That is how I was feeling. But I’m trying to be over it. I’m trying to be more positive and optimistic even though I have my ‘August Struggles’ :

° Unproductivity

This is what I’m currently battling with. Well, I’m a graduating student (or if I’ll graduate lol) [i mean, i don’t wanna be certain], I have a lot of things to accomplish. Includes research, making writings, reporting visuals, et cetera et cetera. But I can’t understand what’s happening to me, I’m not even doing them, or even planning to give them a start. I feel so unproductive, nothing but unproductivity and everything around it.

I’m super hands-on when it comes to school works, but right now, I don’t anymore feel like exhausting myself up just to accomplish ’em all. Maybe I’ll just do them when I know I really have to do them. I badly need to manage myself.

° Boring Instagram Feed

Really, I am not anymore thrilled with posting on Instagram. I am achieving the feed that i wanted because it’s already planned. Yep, I prefer planned feed than spontaneous. Month ago, I decided to try bookstagram feed, which i was really happy about. But as the time passed and I am posting the same type of pale pictures, I became so used to it and wanted something new. This is why I hate myself, I am so ambitious in literally E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G

So please y’all, don’t be surprised if you check on my feed and see that I’m using new theme. Again.

° Broken Earphone

I think of all things, this is the worst among them all. Aside from books and coffee, earphone is what I always need too.

So basically, I was only watching YouTube videos and was using it. But suddenly, It just stopped working. Arghh. I hate it. I hate myself, and I hate to think that I have no budget for replacement. 😂

I badly want new one (the 8D-like Type pls.) especially that Taylor Swift just recently released her 7th album. What am I supposed to use now?

Annnd in conclusion, I need more productivity, new earphone ( wireless if possible) and something new and exciting in my life.

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* my tweet about the new album, Taylor, and everything around it. *

° ° °

Anyways, talking about Lover Album. Here are my top faves:

*warning ⚠ : u have to be a swifty to totally get what I’m talking about.

🎶 Afterglow

– Afterglow is a strong pop song. Before I appreciate a song, I need three to five listen, but Afterglow is really catchy. The first time I heard it, I knew this is my favorite.

🎶 Cornelia Street

I can actually hear both All Too Well (from Red album) and Getaway Car (from Reputation album) from this Cornelia Street. It’s super amazing, I think it’s not a pop song at all. It’s about heartbreak and I love the symbolism used which is the real existent Cornelia Street. (see it on google).

🎶 Cruel Summer

Cruel Summer can be a theme song of a teen movie. I dunno, this is just super alive and I love love love the vibe of it. It’s so cool and I can somehow also hear Getaway car in this track.

🎶 Daylight

Daylight is the best song that I can use to describe her transition from dark era which is Reputation to this new Album, which is called Lover. This song seems to be really bright and so calm. Honestly, just listen to it.

🎶 Lover

Lover is the title track of the Album. This touches country, and it’s undeniable. I think There’s drum on the used instrument but the way it was sung was just slow and super soft to the ears. This is a love song, not a heartbreak one, just happiness in love.

My other faves :

🎵 False God

🎵 I Forgot that You Existed

🎵 I Think He Knows

🎵 It’s Nice to Have a Friend

🎵 London Boy

🎵 Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

Now, this is a lengthy update and I want to say ‘thank you‘ if you’re there and still reading up to this part of the post.

So that’s it, y’all. I really did miss making updates post. I hope you liked this one, because I really diiiid.

What are your August Struggle/s ? Have you heard Lover Album? If yes, what’s your Favorite track?

Comment your thoughts and Let’s have some coffee and talk. ☕💌

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